Triggered

I used to be less emotionally stable. More easily riled.

I'd let the outside world in. I'd let things bug me and upset me and catch me off guard.

I blamed my circumstances, I used victim words. I avoided the triggers to protect my energy.

What I didn't realise: the problem was me.

It always is.

Gymshark used to trigger me. Yes, the fitness clothing brand. I met the owner in its early days. We started our first businesses at roughly the same time, in the same city. His took off. Mine did too, but on a much smaller level.

The reason: business insecurities. Gymshark reminded me that I wasn't where I wanted to be. Figuring this out felt powerful.

Now, I always wear Gymshark. The message has changed in my mind. The brand symbolises taking action and dreaming bigger. Not letting myself think small, like I once did.

Slow walking people used to trigger me. Why were they walking so slowly? Did they not have anywhere to be? Can't they see I do? Can they just move aside, or choose a different day to take a stroll?

The reason: envy. Slow walking people were present and happy. I was rushing and frantic. I wanted to be more chill.

Now, I walk slowly. I don't rush around. I see a slower pace as a sign of success and I do it more. I smile at slow walkers because they were right all along.

Pretty girls used to trigger me. I wouldn't have admitted it, but they did. I felt like I was in competition. I compared myself to my attractive friends. I tried to be more them.

The reason: social conditioning. The media teaches women to compete with each other. Disney movies do too. We're all fighting to bag the best man and live happily ever after. WRONG.

Now, I feel pretty myself. I don't compete or compare. Someone else's good looks don't take away from mine. We can all be beautiful.

LinkedIn used to trigger me. I didn't show up online, even though I knew how. I ran a social media agency but I didn't push myself. I was growing a business but shying away from promotion.

The reason: caring what others thought. LinkedIn felt scary because people were watching. Old colleagues, school friends, strangers. Watching, judging, passing comment.

Now, I show up anyway. I got over it. What someone else thinks is none of my business. I quit trying to read minds and second guess because it's exhausting. I put myself first. I post and comment and see what happens.

Turbulence used to trigger me. When the captain switched on the fasten seatbelt sign I'd panic. Was the plane going down? Was this it? No! Not today, I don't want to die.

The reason: unfulfilled potential. I wasn't living my peak life. I wasn't acting as my best self all the time. I was operating under my true capacity and subconsciously knew it. 

Now, turbulence is fine. Enjoyable, even. There's a small, quiet voice telling me that everything is always working out for me. Including this flight. Somehow I know it's going to be okay. 

What triggers you?

Think of something that consistently bothers you. Then ask yourself: what is this really about? What part of me needs attention here?

The answer might surprise you. But it's the first step toward freedom from that trigger.

Stop blaming the external and start owning the internal.

It's not them. It's you. And that's a good thing.