"Arms"
That was my dad's nickname at college. A genetic gift I was embarrassed of.
"How much spinach did you eat?" Kieran would sneer. "Your arms are too big for a girl." His words became my prison. I believed him. I hid beneath loose sleeves and promises to become smaller, determined to shrink myself into acceptability.
Cross country running. Hockey. Anything to avoid getting "bulky." Anything to be like the other girls.
Then 2015 happened.
At the gym, someone taught me to bench press. Just the empty bar and a few coaching cues. But that day flipped a switch.
I found myself enjoying things that should have mortified me:
- Comments about being "strong for a girl"
- Being the only female in the weights room
- Bros offering unsolicited advice to "help the girl"
- The looks of surprise when I loaded another plate
Their patronizing became my fuel. My "too big" arms became my superpower.
So I doubled down.
I didn't just train. I became obsessed. Each competition showed me how far these "too big" arms could take me:
2016: Regional bench press champion. 2022: Commonwealth bench press champion. 2023: European championships silver medalist. 2024: 5th at the bench press world championships.
From hiding my arms to being fifth best in the world at using them.
Three big lessons:
When someone mocks you, pay attention. They're showing you your power. Your "too much" is your edge. Your "weird" is your advantage. Your "different" is your ace card.
You have ace cards you're not using. They're hidden in the insults thrown your way. In the things your family teases you about. In the gifts you've been trying to hide.
Magic happens at the extreme: ace cards go to waste if you don't use them. Testing the edges won't give you answers. The only way is to go all in. Be obsessed and extreme. Double down.
The question isn't whether you have ace cards.
The question is: are you brave enough to play them?
Your move.
-
My dad, abseiling off Liverpool FC's stadium to raise money for charity on his 75th birthday. Still rockin' the biceps.
